i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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