I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
