Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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