My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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