I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You need Xanax blowdarts
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
