Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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