Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
