Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
