I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I deserve this hangover.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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