i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
