Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This baby is an asshole
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
