did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize