Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
