My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
