Soap is not a condiment
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize