im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
