I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
