Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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