Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
