I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
