Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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