i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
