There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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