Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
