oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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