I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
