no, he came in my armpit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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