Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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