remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
