just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You pole danced in your parka.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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