We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
