i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
