dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
