I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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