Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
