To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
