When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
