Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
