ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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