proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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