Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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