dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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