my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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