Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize