I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You ruined the universe
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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