i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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