Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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