So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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