I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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