bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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