a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize