I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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