i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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