so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
