East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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