Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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