I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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