I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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