If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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