I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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