where am i from again
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
