Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
