I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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