As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
